Well, things are definately changing.
I got a job last week, in the local pub down the road. It is officially the best job in the world, and I'm loving it!

Another strange but wicked change of events is that I am now in a band!
It turns out that I have a half decent metal screaming voice, and am going to be singing backing and sharing vocals with the front man, Ben!

Ben runs a recording studio, the one where I'm doing the wall paintings. We'd always talked about me coming in t have a go at shouting/screaming metal stylee, just for fun to see if I could. Ben's just formed a metal band called Fleshmonger, and wanted me to see if I could do some vocals for the recording.
I was really in the mood for screaming, life's been totally getting me down lately and you know how sometimes you just wanna scream.... I mean REALLY scream...... well, I did!

Over ther past few years I have been carrying aggression and stress from bad situations.  Guilt, depression, worthlessness, illness... all brought on by the things I went through, when I played it cool, kept my reserve, always amicable.  I trust that the universe will deal out the karma, it is not my job to do so and revenge serves no purpose.  But that left me feeling so hurt, so doormat like.. I was even angry at myself that I hadnt taken revenge, maybe that would have helped ease the pain.  But, in all those situations where I should have screamed, all those silent screams that went unheard.  All of those screams came out...

I got Ben to play Lamb of God - Redneck, just cos it is so familiar and I LOVE Lamb of God. I always wanna scream along when I'm on my own, but can never manage to let it out, so here was my chance.

In a recording booth, in the dark (that felt safer), in front of a microphone.

The music was really loud in my headphones... I feel it has to be! I ran through the song a couple of times just shouting and trying to scream, but then, you just take a huge deep breath and scream, let it all out... scream again, roar, shout, rock... It was just the best experience I have had in a LONG time. The adrenaline rush, the release, the shaking that comes with it! After screaming along to a whole tune, I was shaking so much I had to take 5 and sit down. My legs were shaking, my hands, everything, It was like I was in shock.


Once I got back in the booth, with a page of scribbled lyrics, Ben played some Fleshmonger tracks and I screaming the backing, shouted along and death roared when it was called for. It turned out really good, and I'm looking forward to my next screaming session! We're going to re-record next week, as we're sending a demo into a competition to win a support slot with Slayer!! How cool would that be!! Our first gig is end of November I've been told, so I gotta get practicing the roars and screams! Trouble is, I couldn't speak the day after the recording! sounded like scooby doo all day, as my lovely partner kept reminding me, after he'd laughed his arse off at me again.

Here's to a Pisces full moon! (which it was on monday!!)

Big love xxxx

I've had the urge to have a clean up and sort out on the website.  I apologise if the navigation is confusing for a while, but I am working on an easier to use format, which will be much better in the long run.  Please bear with me if things move about or change over the next couple of weeks...

 

Namaste xx